Do What You Don't Want to Do

We tend to spend our free time doing what we’re already interested in or comfortable with. But when we only do things that we’re interested in, we end up with a limited set of experiences that can ultimately limit our awareness and abilities. Furthermore, our interest is often linked to what is accessible to us, which creates a self-reinforcing cycle of desire. This means that we’re not only limiting our experiences, but also our potential for growth.

To break this cycle, we should actively seek out experiences that might not appeal to us. When we spend enough time with any given activity or experience, we end up adapting to enjoy at least parts of it. The more we push ourselves to broaden our experience set, the more we broaden our set of desires, which in turn leads to an even broader set of experiences.

Similarly, we should seek out experiences that we find to be difficult or where we lack expertise. These are parts of life that we often avoid, yet they have the highest potential to open up a whole new world of growth and development. By seeking experiences beyond our zone of comfort, we expand our zone of comfort.

Seeking out unappealing, uncomfortable, and difficult experiences seems counterintuitive, but it’s how we take control of our own growth trajectory. There is often a fine line between an experience of trauma and growth, and control is at the heart of it. By making intentional decisions to seek discomfort, we increase the likelihood of a growth experience, and we become better prepared for similar situations where we may not have the same level of control. In other words, proactively seeking experiences of growth can protect us from experiences of trauma.

Our identities and preferences are capable of being dynamic and fluid. It is our choice whether we want to keep broadening our experience set and unlock new interests, skills, and insights that follow. By definition, these types of experiences are not easy to encounter. Most people give up when there isn’t immediate positive reinforcement or when they feel like they’re not capable of achieving their goals. It’s critical to identify this struggle as part of the process of growth and build awareness at the derivative level of life. Over time, we learn to enjoy the experiences of discomfort and failure since they signal to our subconscious that growth is just around the corner.